Chaos of love

 

I will be different, improve on my mother

We all have said this at one time or another

We loudly proclaim we’ll do good on her bad

With all of the arrogance innocence has

 

And the first time we see them, our child in this world

In a breathtaking moment of life we are hurled

Into chaos and love that we’ll come to know

Will take us to places we don’t want to go

And our history haunts us almost everyday

As we hear ourselves say what our mothers would say

All the words that we swore we’d never use

Though we battle our demons we so often loose

 

Cause the wheel it turns and turns

The same thing we all yearn, love, love, love

 

Oh and where is the love that we promised to show

Where’s the understanding, the patience, the loving embrace

That we want our children to feel

We admit our defeat and then we begin to heal

 

When we see that our love is no bigger than hers

In a breathtaking moment her life it unfurled

She got lost in the chaos of love just like me

She couldn’t be all that she wanted to be

 

I bow my head gently because now I know

That all mothers were children once and wanted to grow

And the steps that we take may be small, all the same

Each little step slowly leads us to change

 

If my daughter decides to have kids of her own

When she tries to improve on all that I did wrong

May she never give up, one day come to see

That all mothers try mothering perfectly

 

 

 

 

Lay our weapons down

 

If I lay my weapons down, will you lay down yours?

Can I feel safe here now?

We’ve been on all the rides

Used up all our chips

Playing on love’s fairground

The drama isn’t gone

though we are done contemplating on who’s to blame for what

Thank God we’re done with that, done with all that pain

And still you fight

I know I fight too

 

Whose honor do I defend

When I try to bend and break you down

My heart it is on the mend

And so much of that depends on you

So lay your weapons down

And I will lay down mine, too

 

We can keep what’s in the past

And see how long we’ll last

Or we can let it go

We’re not beyond and not above the other side of love

That we have come to know

But there’s so much that is right

So many battles you and I no longer need to fight

But still we carry on, still we carry on

I know you try

You know I try, too

 

Whose honor do I defend

When I try to break and bend you down

My heart it is on the mend

And so much of that depends on you

So lay your weapons down

And I can lay down mine, too

 

 

 

 

River

 

Daylight starts creeping in

When this soul’s song begins to sing

Listen to its tender words

Give it flight now, this faithful bird

 

Grey clouds, they slip away

When this music begins to play

Know now, it is not me

It is a river that must run free

 

Come doubts, come fear

Come words to a song

This river keeps flowing

It keeps flowing on

 

Forces, always at play

Making sure I don’t loose my way

Choice is no longer mine

I have learned that along the line

 

Come doubts, come fear

Come words to a song

This river keeps flowing

It keeps flowing on

 

Freely, I carry on

Sharing with you my simple song

And when they come into flow

All my doubts I can just let go

 

Come doubts, come fear

Come words to a song

This river keeps flowing

It keeps flowing on

Come doubts, come fear

Come words to a song

This river it keeps flowing on

 

 

 

 

Take it back

 

Here in this land we have rivers of gold

The standards are high and the money is old

Where everything costs an arm and a leg

And everyone works until they drop dead

 

You learn to ignore all the needs you might have

Don’t question the fact that they’re driving you mad

Just go with the flow for fear you might drown

And build up a world that is sure to fall down

 

I sometimes wonder why people lie

Choose to go under and not to try and find what’s theirs to find

And take it back

 

You know you’ve enough but you still want more

The worst thing to be in a rich land is poor

Defining yourself by all that you own

Ignoring the shame that is growing and growing

 

You work and you work but it’s never enough

But here in this land no one ever gives up

You know you must march, all march in time

We’ve all got a spot on the assembly line

 

 

 

 

Waltz of life

 

Those nights they are dark 

They are dark and they’re cold

I breathe and I watch and I try to keep hold 

On what I know, I know

On what I know

Reason it fails and worry begins 

Can’t find an escape from this trap that I’m in

Or these memories

 

Because I still see you there in my arms

I still hear you scream

I still see you there in my arms

Doing the waltz of life with me

 

Sleep has become a long lost friend

And laughter a thing I can only pretend

But cannot feel

Broken am I and this heart of mine

Blind to this laughing, this dancing boy

When the nights are dark

When the nights are cold

 

Because I still see you there in my arms

I still hear you scream

I still see you there in my arms

Doing the waltz of life with me

 

 

 

 

Homecoming

 

Your bags are packed the taxi’s here to meet you

It’s been a while since I have slept alone

The space your absence gives me I’ll gladly take

But only ‘cause it won’t be long

Until your homecoming

 

At times like this it feels like we’re still lovers

Who hang on every word the other says

The butterflies are dancing and I can barely wait

To hold you in my arms again

At your homecoming

 

I would go through all of it again

Start where you and I, we were just friends

So many years ago, so little did I know

That all my years with you would feel

Like a homecoming

 

 

 

 

Not giving up

 

What is this, this madness or is it just me?

Or does madness preside over all families

Oh we’re never in shortage of fists or of fights

But solutions I search for and can’t seem to find

 

‘He did it’, ‘No she did!’, ‘ I didn’t, I swear!’

Turn my back for two seconds she’s pulling his hair

And the cat is still hungry, meows out for more

As I gather up tufts of brown hair off the floor

And I swear I can’t take any more

 

But I’m not giving up, not giving up

 

Oh the digital war, it is fought every day

With threats and with warnings, I keep it at bay

As I gather up ‘i’ that’s and ‘i’ this’s too

And I swear that I’ve had it, had it with you two

 

I missed it when puberty walked in the door

Oh just when I thought I can’t take anymore

Well at least she has managed to make up her mind

that I haven’t a clue almost all of the time

When there’s fault then it has to be mine

 

But I’m not giving up, not giving up

 

We walk together now, there are no signs

Through wind and weather how we’ll survive

 

I admit freely there’s much I’ve done wrong

Me, I’m just learning as I go along

But a smile on my face I’ll always have

When I think of my family, although we’re all mad

 

 

 

 

Reason

 

The horizon on a cold day

And those wild west-coast winds

How they blow me away

Do I miss them?

We’ll, give a guess

When I close my eyes

I can feel them on my chest

 

The reason I left is the reason I cannot go back

Over there I get lost and here somehow 

I manage to stay on track

Oh it’s sad but it’s true and 

I wish it were different but it’s not

Suppose missing the wind’s a small price 

for what I’ve got

 

And the ocean on a wet day

As black as black 

And still the children play in her waters

To spite the cold

Making memories for when they

When they are old

 

The reason I left is the reason I cannot go back

Over there I get lost and here 

somehow I manage to stay on track

Oh it’s sad but it’s true and 

I wish it were different but it’s not

Suppose missing the wind and missing the waves

And missing the rain that holds on for days

Suppose missing it all is the price for what I’ve got

 

 

 

 

For a while

 

Come to me my darling

Lay your hand in mine

Sit with me in comfort 

And just forget time

What tomorrow brings

Is a whole day away

So for a while, for a while

 

Just breathe in and out

There’s nothing except now

There’s nothing you can loose

And nothing you must choose

 

How these quiet moments

Are the ones that are few

Days and nights are full

Of all the things we should do

But on this fair evening

Leave it all aside

And for a while, for a while

 

Just breathe in and out

There’s nothing except now

There’s nothing you can loose

And nothing you must choose

 

 

 

 

What would our love say now if it were watching?

 

Stand aside and watch the tide a-changing

Against its flow we seem to swim these days

The solid ground we once stood on is fading

It turns to sand a little everyday

What would our love say now if it were watching?

It used to keep us safe within its arms

 

I look into your eyes and see a stranger

Someone who just hurts me as a rule

Our words have left us deaf to one another

And blind to all the things we’ve gotten through

What would our love say now if it were watching?

Most likely turn and bow its head in shame

What would our love say now if it were watching?

As you and I, we both give up again

 

Are we going to let this go, our love

Use the past as ammunition

Or we could let this grow, our love

All we have to do is listen, just listen

 

Remember when we used to trust each other

And when we swore we’d leave the games aside?

Remember when our instincts drew us closer

When we both chose love instead of pride

What would our love say now if it were watching?

Most likely tell us both we should grow up

What would our love say now?

What would our love say now?

Keep trying